The night is cool and black as pitch around me, the only relief coming from the few fires left dotting the camp. There are guards, of course, even this deep in Katsumoto’s lands; no one will risk his safety. Well, except for Katsumoto himself, and that drives everyone a little crazy, myself included. He is my sanity and my new-found strength of will, my restored honor, and if I had my way, he would be kept safe in the mountains forevermore.

I do not, however, have any real say in the matter, for he is a man with his own plans and agendas. Katsumoto would never be content to stay hidden away and I know it. He would wither and die in such a life and that, too, is something none of us will risk…stifling the beauty of his soul. The loss of his son was a tremendous one; we all feel the death keenly. Nobutada was the first one to be kind to me when I was taken prisoner all those long months ago. In the light of the campfire, in the darkness of Katsumoto’s eyes, I could see the Samauri’s wish to join his son in the afterlife. I had seen the same look on many parents’ faces during and after The War.

I had meant it, of course, that the way of the Samauri was necessary to Japan‘s future and that we would make the Emperor hear Katsumoto’s words. I meant every single word and more besides. I know that we are two of the same whole, split apart before our births to be cast across the ocean from each other. And the poem that Katsumoto recited to me, the one he can’t find an ending to, tells me that he feels the same.

Scorn and disgust had always been my reaction when I’d seen men taking comfort in each other’s arms during The War. That they could do something so against the natural order of things baffled me and I felt no sympathy if and when such men were found out and dealt with accordingly. And yet, I had never revealed any such assignations on my own, either, though I didn’t at the time understand why not. Perhaps even then, I’d felt that my other half was waiting for me and that we, too, would be misunderstood by the world at large.

The western world, at least. I suspect that the bonds of war and bonds of warriors here among the Samauri are different. As is everything else that I have come to love about these people.

I wish I could pinpoint the moment that I realized it was love I felt for Katsumoto, I really do. The friendship had been there from the start, even when I hadn’t understood a blessed word coming from his mouth. He had stayed the blades of the other Samauri who were eager for my blood and my death for killing one of their own. He had taken me to his son’s village and ordered his sister to nurse me back to health. Taka had wrought her work better than she knew, denying me alcohol and drying me out for the first time in a good five years.

I didn’t understand why, though, and I still don’t. Katsumoto has never revealed to me why he saved me that day in the forest and I doubt he ever will. He likes to remain something of a mystery, does my Lord, and it makes me smile tenderly every time the thought crosses my mind.

How strange that I, a modern man from the most modern country in the world, the United States, should find comfort and ease in calling someone my Lord. It feels right and natural, as does standing to Katsumoto’s left side, protecting him with my body even when there is no apparent danger. I am a leader of men and always have been, and yet I look to him for my way now. I follow him willingly…death, life, love, torment…anything and anywhere do I go, as long as it is at his side.

He sleeps now, not two feet from me, a lump in the darkness as our fire has long since gone to embers. I stare at him, though I don’t see much. I don’t need to, not really, as his broad, handsome face is etched into my memory. His dark, perpetually curious and humor-filled eyes are what come first to mind, then the ready smile and the quirk of an eyebrow when I do something particularly outlandish, to his way of thinking. I could draw him, did I have the courage to set it down on paper. But I don’t because I know that eventually, everything I put down finds its way to him, thanks to Taka.

“Algren.”

Smiling in the dark at his soft call of my name, I whisper back, “What?”

He leaves his bedroll for mine, kneeling beside me. He is barely an outline in the darkness, but I can feel the weight of his stare on me as he frames his words. Always deliberate in every way, is my Lord, knowing that a stray word can damage more than the sharpest of blades. “I wish to…lie with you.”

Words that I am surprised to hear and I am uncertain how to take them. “In what fashion?”

His hand descends to rest on my hip, squeezing a bit as he replies, “There is death coming. I wish to feel life with you, if only for this night.”

That answers that, and I find myself smiling again, raising a hand to his and turning onto my side, away from him as I tug him down to me. He takes that as tacit approval and lays behind me, sliding that hand around my waist and spooning up against me. Warm lips touch the back of my throat and I sigh at the contact, craning my neck to offer more bare skin. His other arm moves beneath my head and angles me towards him so that he can kiss me.

For a long moment, I am uncertain how to respond and simply lie there, allowing him entry to my mouth without protest. Then his hand grips me through my trousers and a surge of something I’ve never before felt rips through me. I gasp, unable not to, and he rubs against me from both in front with his hand and behind with his body. His lips are soft but insistent and I yield as I never would to anyone else, shivering as he takes my mouth.

With nimble fingers, he opens my trousers and holds the hard length of me in his hand. Shuddering now at the contact, I answer his kisses fiercely, desperation humming through me as I understand that this will probably never happen again. It is unlikely that either of us will live through the coming battles, not if Omura has his way, and this will have to tide me over until we meet again in another life.

He groans in approval at my sudden response and for several minutes we vie for control of the kiss. I defer the win to him, of course, and he rewards me by stroking my manhood, slow but hard, the friction rendering me useless with sensation. A whimper of protest escapes me when he withdraws, but he whispers, “I wish to receive the gift of your body, Algren.”

“Yes,” I answer breathlessly. “Anything you want.”

He hisses at the words and pulls away only to tug my trousers down, out of the way altogether. I help him by lifting my hips and kicking them aside, once my boots are gone. Katsumoto does something to his robes and then returns to his position behind me. I’ve never actually seen what it is that men do together, and nervousness rears its ugly head.

Gentle hands soothe the tension from me, promising only pleasure. His voice is directly at my ear when his murmurs, “Two halves joining into one, Algren, that is what we are.”

I nod agreement, knowing it as truth. His hand takes mine, our fingers lacing together, and I feel the tip of his shaft at the entrance to my body. He silently urges one of my legs forward, opening me to him, and I obey without question. My fingers tighten on his as Katsumoto pushes inside, discomfort rising to pain as he works slowly into my body. Gasping, I bite at my jacket to muffle the sounds trying to escape me. I focus on the soft, tender words spoken directly into my ear, his low, familiar voice an aural caress in a strange mix of English and Japanese.

“Part of me, Algren, always part of me. I saw your coming in a vision, a tiger, valiant and fierce, our eyes the same, our eyes always the same, Algren. Oh, I have, have such need of you, such need. You are vital to me, so necessary. Oh, my warrior, my troubled warrior, you feel so good to me, never before, never again, just you…”

His words end in a guttural moan as he is finally all the way within me, his forehead damp against the back of my neck. Panting through the pain, I hold tight to his hand, my backside throbbing with intrusive heat. For several long minutes, neither of us moves except for his soft kisses to my throat and a few nips on my earlobe.

“Katsumoto,” I whisper finally.

Nuzzling my hair, he whispers back, “What?”

“I feel…” my words trail off, as I am unsure of what I feel.

“Tell me.”

A direct command is not something I will disobey, even given in such a tender tone. Helpless to his whim, I answer, “Filled with you, part of you, whole at long last. I…I need you, don’t leave me.”

He sighs, the breath stirring my hair, and says gently, “You remember what I said of the blossoms?”

I want to answer ‘no,’ but that won’t get me anywhere and I know it, so I nod.

“Like the blossoms, we will be reborn and I will hope for more time with you in the next life, my troubled warrior. If I leave you, it won’t be for long. If I leave you…please honor me by caring for Taka and her family.”

“I want to be with you, even into death,” I reply, craning my neck to look back at him.

I can barely see his smile in the dark as he reminds, “Our ways are not yours. If it is your destiny, then we will die in battle together. If it is not, then I wish for you to have a good life, a peaceful one, on my lands, in my home.”

“I don’t love her, Katsumoto.”

“I know.”

And then there are no more words because he starts to move and I gasp in surprised pleasure. Something deep within me is triggered on each firm in-stroke, hardening me in short order, the pain and discomfort fading fast. A soft grunt escapes him as he thrusts into my body time and again, possessing me and making me his completely.

I bite at my jacket again, not wanting to wake anyone with my noises. Need thrills through me as Katsumoto tries to make us one for eternity. I ache with it, ache for release, but stave it off, not willing to find my own before he does. I will give him all that I am, everything he needs, and beg to give him more. I wish I could beg, I wish I could wail my pleasure to the cold, black sky, but I hold myself back, knowing that the others need their rest for the coming battles.

Katsumoto brings our joined hands up, wrapping our arms around my chest and humping into me almost violently. His pants and groans are barely audible, but goad me closer to the edge. His shaft is strong and hard, sliding in and out of me, slick with his seed, his balls slapping louder against my backside than any of the other noises we make. He lunges one last time into me and I feel his seed explode within me, filling me with his essence, his soul, which in turn triggers my own release. I jerk and twist in his hard embrace, shuddering as my own seed spills onto the uncaring ground.

Breathing heavily, Katsumoto’s forehead again rests on the back of my neck as he regroups. I feel him softening within me and mourn the separation when our bodies return to individual entities. Sighing deeply, relaxing into his arms, I lay there, content and satiated. It’s not until the cool night air on my bare skin causes me to shiver that he moves away and brings back my trousers. Reluctant, I accept them and pull them on, wincing at sore muscles that have been well-used.

“Are you all right?” he asks quietly.

I smile at him and nod, buckling my belt back into place.

Katsumoto searches my eyes in the dark and eventually comes to his own conclusion, that familiar, crooked grin surfacing. He reaches out and brushes my recalcitrant hair from my face. “Thank you.”

Surprise takes me when he settles back down on my blankets. I was expecting him to return to his own.

“Do you not wish to sleep with me as well?” he questions, uncertain.

In answer, I stretch out beside him and settle into his arms. “I didn’t think that you would want the others to know.”

A soft chuckle fills the air and he informs me, “Ujio asked me last month when you would be moving into my house, instead of continuing to live with Taka.”

I groan, turning my face into his throat and mumble, “I won’t hear the end of this from him, will I?”

“Probably not,” Katsumoto confirms agreeably, kissing the top of my head. “Sleep Algren. There is much to do come morning.”

My sleep is untroubled by the nightmares that had come to be the bane of my existence, as it has been of late. Instead, my dreams are of a decidedly…amorous nature. When I wake sprawled over Katsumoto and still in his arms at dawn, it is to find Ujio grinning down at us. I make a face at him and he laughs before walking away, his long, black hair blowing wild in the wind.

Despite the teasing I am sure to endure for this, kind though it seems it will be from Ujio’s reaction, I am content with my lot. Far more content than I had ever dreamed of being, there is no doubt about that. No matter what happens, I will always be part of Katsumoto, as he is a part of me now. If it is my destiny to live without him, which I earnestly pray will not be the case, I will have the strength to do as he asked and look after his remaining family.

I will live and await the next life where we can be together, in all ways, for more than one night.